I miss making out.
Like, when you make out with someone for the first time.. or the second.. or the third. It’s all brand new. Your hands in their hair. Their scent swirling around you. Their scent that they leave on your clothes. Your ears are sensitive to each sound they make. Every inhale and exhale. The soft breath of theirs on your skin sends you into shivers. But their hands warm you to the core.
It’s the anticipation. the anticipation of not knowing if this could be taken further. maybe not even wanting to take it any further.  There could be a million things going through your head, but you’re just in this euphoric state of mind. It’s just simple. It’s innocence. It’s lips on lips and hushed breathing.
you’re creating a masterpiece of music and each kiss is a note to your song. 

i saw tears flow down my face that i hadn’t seen since the early summer.
you held my hand and wiped my tears
and i can’t explain how ugly i felt in that second.
i squeezed my eyes shut so i didn’t have to see your face.
remains of the fabrication of beauty running down my cheeks.
black stains forming under my eyes and my lips curling up in hopes of stopping.
you just watched me, and held me and told me it was okay.
i gripped your hand tightly and pulled you close.
salty sad kisses flowing out of me like butterflies flying through the sky.
i drifted away.
my eyes fell and met yours. i shifted away until i fit my body up against yours.
my back to you, so my face was hidden as you spoke to me.
you’re calm and sleepy and sent me into a whirlwind..
i could fall asleep to your voice, i know.
my body froze and tightened.
your whispered words sent flurries through my head.
i was a covered in thick layers of frost and you’re body heat was unthawing me.
with each word, i felt my ice melt more.
i’m yours.

waves of the beaches.. ocean blue.
buried beneath thick brows
and i can’t pretend that i’m not tangled up in a mess of you.
your eyes take me in and i splash in the wilderness of rushing rapids and hearts beating.
breathing in. my last breath, like my lungs are flooded.
i taste the ocean on you.
my nose gets accustomed to your scent
and i long to have your arms wrapped up in me..
letting the scent of you send whirlwinds into me.
i long for having pieces of you up against my skin.
your warm hands send smoldering fireworks through out my body.
i’m waiting for the day that your voice rises and shakes and collapses under your breath.
i’m sinking deeper in and i’ve never felt so comfortable
being so real.